Like A Pregnant Britney Spears, Living the Dream

I have a little less than a month before I leaving for the land of drunken frat parties.
This? Is an interesting time. Advice is spouted towards me, right and left. In my family, its anything from "stay focused on school" to "use protection." Thanks, but I caught this all on an afterschool special on the N. Degrassi Junior High prepared me for life.
On a positive note, you get a lot of stuff. I got an aweseome cordless vac and a lifetime supply of Cheezums and Laundry Detergent. And a pink nightgown thats not a muumuu not yet a tube dress and makes me feel like a barefoot and pregnant Britney Spears at a truckstop. I really like it. On top of it all, college scares the hell out of me. I don't know what I'm doing with my future. On one hand, I want to major in journalism. On the other, I always wanted to hand out individual sausage samples on toothpicks at an A&P grocery. I could have my. own. booth. I'm going to make everyone so proud.